那些心懷夢想的人

Dearest,

I feel certain, that I'm going mad again.

I think we can't go through another of these terrible times

and I shan't recover this time.

I begin to hear voices

and can't concentrate.

So I'm doing what seems the best thing to do.

You have given me the greatest possible happiness.

You have been in every way all that anyone could be.

I know that I'm spoiling your life

and without me you could work

and you will.

I know.

You see I can't even write this properly.

 

What I want to say is that I owe all the happiness of my life to you.

You have been entirely patient with me

and incredibly good.

Everything is gone for me,

but the certainty of your goodness.

I can't go on spoiling your life any longer.

I don't think two people could have been happier than we have been.

維吉尼亞.

終於完整地把電影看完。深呼吸，如釋重負般，彷彿完成了一項無比艱巨的任務。這部電影對於我，更像是一場命中注定不可避免的儀式。我無處躲藏，所以必須勇敢面對。不會再有第二次的，因為無法忍受那種被看穿著透的感覺。電影太過殘忍，把人的內心如此赤裸地表現出來，一覽無餘。直白而深刻地剖析了人的內心世界，毫不留情地把那些最強烈也最灰暗的感情硬生生地擺在面前，強迫著去直視那些刻意隱藏的情感。 看過後，留在心底的，只剩那種蒼白的無力感。

電影裡最觸動我的那一幕，是當Richard費力地爬上窗台，安靜地坐在那，很自由很享受的樣子，背對著光明，急喘著氣，目光堅定地直視著Clarissa，在陰影里輕聲對她說

You've been so good to me, Mrs. Dalloway.

I love you.

I don't think two people could've been happier than we've been.

然後一側身，如斷翅的小鳥般墜落。這個內心充滿無限陰影的男人，終於還是用一種極端而堅決的態度結束自己的生命。
Mrs. Dalloway, it's you.

I've stayed alive for you...

but now you have to let me go.
他愛她，所以為她苟延殘喘的活了十年，可是最後他請求她的放手，他累了，厭倦了，他想休息，去追尋一直渴望的自由。

Leonard 問維吉尼亞，在她的小說里為什麼一定有人要死。 「為了對比，為了讓活著的人更懂得珍惜生活。而死的人將會是詩人，那些心懷夢想的人」 只有他們，才會一輩子無所畏懼的去追尋夢想，奮不顧身，哪怕是粉身碎骨。
維吉尼亞 最終也選擇以自殺的方式解脫自己，她說過，如果要在Richmond和死亡之間作選擇，她寧願選擇死亡。如果不能夠獲得自由，那麼寧願一死。

Dear Leonard...

to look life in the face,

always... to look life in the face...

and to know it... for what it is...

at last to know it...

to love it... for what it is...

and then...

to put it away.

Leonard...

 

always the years between us

always the years...

always the love...
always the hours...

維吉尼亞 Wolf