我心中的那條船

記得有一次喝多了，在酒桌上拉著別人的手使勁倒話，估計對面的那位要聽吐了。當時不停的絮叨如果自己能重新再來一次的話，絕對要放浪形骸、絕對要要狼狽不堪、絕對要肆無忌憚、絕對要....當《The Boat That Rocked》的最後，巨大的船體緩緩沉入冰冷的北海，一張張的黑膠碟像雪花般得飄起、飛揚，我清楚地明白了，重新活一次的念頭不會再有，因為，每個人的心中都有一條放肆的海盜船，但最終都會沉入深深的海底。

最近一直在看《金剛經》，覺得必需要對人生有所突破。自以為加以時日，會有些許果報，其實這些臆想最終不過是鏡中月、水中花。色相未來，一旦入眼，立刻著了相，入了惑。很久都沒有如此的悵然若失，這種情緒在離別許久後突然造訪，措手不及中驚喜交加。應該是回憶吧，那些被塗抹成黑白色的底片，一一從深海底層飄飛起來，鏡頭先是從上全景定位，然後滿滿搖下，周圍是大大小小的氣泡，包裹著這些底片一起升騰，機位繼續向下，周圍的光線漸漸黯淡，鏡頭揚起，定格，海面上的光線俯射下來，但海底深處依然黑寂，升騰起來的張張底片在明暗相間的海水裡漸行漸遠，消失不見......

是rock roll 也好，是青春也好，是迷幻也好，是叛逆也好，是時代也好，都在船沉入水後變成了生命中最珍貴的部份。好像count說的，我們站在了世界之巔，朋友，從這里落下去要走很長很長的路。是的，當我們站在最美好的當下，我們都不知道，混沌地像carl一樣說道：我不知道這些。只是知道以後就晚了，就已經在冰冷的海水裡掙扎求生了。劇情里會有boats來營救這些DJ們，可現實的大海上，茫茫蕩蕩，空無一船，我們到那裡去攀爬上駛來拯救我的小舟？

count:that these are the best days of our lives.It's a terrible thing to know ,but i know it.
carl:I don't know about that.
count:well,yeah,yeah.Maybe you'll be lucky.Maybe you'll have better days,but i doubt it.We stood on top of the mountain,compadre,It's a long way do-be-do-be down.

Skeeter Davis在整條船航行在世界之巔時用純真而略顯生澀的歌聲唱出《the end of the world》。這歌聲不是從耳朵里進入身體，而是從靈魂的竅口進入，只在這一瞬間，自己長長短短的三十多年時光，水一樣從眼前就全部滑過了。
Why does the sun go on shining?
Why does the sea rush to shore?
Don't they know it's the end of the world
'Cause you don't love me anymore?

Why do the birds go on singing?
Why do the starts glow above?
Don't they know it's the end of the world
It ended when I lost your love

I wake up in the morning and I wonder
Why everything is the same as it was
I can't understand, no, I can't understand
How life goes on the way it does!

Why does my heart go on beating?
Why do these eyes of mine crying?
Don't they know it's the end of the world?
It ended when you said goodbye

Why does my heart go on beating?
Why do these eyes of mine crying?
Don't they know it's the end of the world?
It ended when you said goodbye