給我的Neil

肉吞和我五脊六獸的陳列在沙發上看這個電影。
怪爍抱著靠墊指著Neil說，神啊，那不是演house里挪威小醫生的那個帥哥麼。
電影裡的Neil是一個新鮮的滴著水的美少年。
House里是穿著白大褂的美中年。

肉吞秉承一貫看電影的傳統，看到一半，睡著了。這證明這是一個經典的片子，因為肉吞天賦異稟，只要是好片，一定睡著，爛片，她就看得很high.


時光，此去經年，此去經年。

也許會有一天，我們回顧今日，也如現在看這部上映於89年的電影，夾雜著流光的碎屑以及灰塵，覺得青春莫名的惆悵及感動。

寒霧，厚厚的深色外套，及回到宿舍時，玄關溫暖的橘色燈光。一群男孩冒冒失失的衝進來，急急忙忙的跑出去。撕掉狗屁理論的課本，站在桌上吵吵鬧鬧。深邃的圖書館，高大的落地窗。

我的高中，第一年糾結於各式各樣的化學方程式，拿了奧林匹克金牌後金盆洗手退隱江湖。第二年糾結於各式各樣歷史年代人物，第三年糾結於各式各樣的模擬卷子，現在想來，彷彿所有的時間，都濃縮成一個片段。

深夜，酣暢的做完某個練習冊，抬頭低頭間，彷彿出現幻覺，藍白交錯的花朵，開成一朵深淵，生長在三生石上。

那麼冗長的時光巷道，現在想來，也不過是可以微笑路過的洪荒。

所謂的夢想，相較於Neil，我更柔韌，或者說，更容易妥協。


Oh, Captain! My Captain!


---By Walt Whitman


Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is worn,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red!
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up--for you the flag is flung--for you the bugle trills,
For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths--for you the shores crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here, Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head;
It is some dream that on the deck
You've fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still,
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse or will;
The ship is anchor'd safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;
Exult, O Shores! and ring, O bell!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.