where is the love for me

when we were separatad at 15,
I said I would never love anyone else,
and we never become in touched,
I'd never see you anywhere,
I had nothing for myself,
I decided..I will pretend to be alive,
and this is what I've been waiting for all this time.
renouncing all possible lives for one only with you.
but I'm not used to it anymore.you know..love...I mean.