Brideshead Revisited, delicately aching for Sebastian

Brideshead Revisited——unnamed sorrow diffusing from the beginning to the end, everything mild but exquisite, everybody distinct but resigned to his or her fate.

 

Even when I was absorbed in the fabulous and emotional scenery of Brideshead with Sebastian and Charles, mild sorrow refused to leave and enveloped my heart, for from every single word, the writer indicates his readers to bear in mind that: Beautiful youth! When it is immersed in enthusiasm, dissolution and jubilance, all these enthusiasm, dissolution and jubilance are quietly and rapidly slipping away with it under our eyes, and will never return.

 

Sebastian and Charles were of the same age as mine when they went through together all the glory, escape and dissolution. Maybe it’s the age that keeps reminding readers that, what has passed away in the process is rather radiant youth than just ruthless years. In this light, how can readers hold their sorrow and disappointment when years go by as fleeting waves?

 

There must be a thoroughgoing cut in Sebastian’s heart, created and exacerbated by his religious and emotionless family, never managed to and finally never meant to heal up. Religion seems to be the evil he wanted to evade from, which haunted over his fate and spilled salt in his live wound over and over again. But upon a second thought, what has all these done with religion? It is only a curse which the Brideshead family utilized to control others and themselves.

 

Sebastian placed ultimate hope on Charles; he dissipated apathetically, fancying evading from cruel reality. When he found his mother tried to draw Charles over to her side and exert influence on himself, some essence finally died in his heart, leaving only emptiness. From then on, indifferent with recuperation or hope, numbness brought by alcohol is the only true feeling. Writing those words above, an unknown sorrow was surfing under the bottom of my heart: even one thought of his gaunt silhouette, his perplexed and deep expression in the eyes, his enchanting and distressed countenance, or his self-indulgent and delicate move, will make my heart aching.

 

Congealed time,

Floating words;

Pitch-dark mansion,

Blurry light,

Through Sebastian’s eyes,

Too much intoxication to realize the world;

Flower withered,

In a flash;

Flower blossomed,

Yesterday.