Is there anything harder than enjoying your life?

Eat Pray Love. Love it.

The part in which the protagonist was in Rome and Napoli brought back memories of last year’s New Year when I traveled with Melia in Italy. We were amazed by all the beautiful scenes in Rome, Naples and Capri. More enjoyable was that we were seeking good food all the time. Really, all the time. I don』t remember how many meals we had every day… As long as we wanted it, we sat down and ate! Of course we had to bear with the rudeness and embarrassment of language barrier once in a while. But compared with the experience and true happiness of enjoying life, the roughness almost became part of the beauty. I like the philosophy in the movie of enjoying food and not worrying too much about muffin tops :). More and more I feel I am at the camp of indulgence – do what makes me happy instead of what makes me look good (in every way, not just physically).

Dolce far niente – it means in Italian the sweetness of doing nothing. When this line came up in the movie, I felt I once knew what it meant. Not sure I still understand it now. In March or April, I was in Frankfurt. Didn』t have much work to do. On Saturday I woke up at 3pm (still doing this…) with no guilt, opened up my window to let the breeze, the smell, and the noise from the street in. I curled up in my green sofa, staring at the trees, for hours, appreciating the luxury of not HAVING to do anything and ALLOWING myself not to do anything. When it got dark, I would take a shower, dress up, walk out to do grocery shopping, and make myself an experimental dinner (I was a new cook, and still am). All by myself. But never did I feel loneliness. All I felt was peace, balance, and gratefulness for being lucky.

The part in India was not as enjoyable as the one in Italy, nevertheless not less enlightening. One dialogue hit me. The philosophy behind it never occurred to me before.

- I did love you, Stephen.

- But I still love you.

- So love me.

- And I miss you.

- So miss me. Send me love and light every time you think of me, then drop it.

Sometimes all I need to do to go away from an obsession is to accept the fact that I am obsessed with it. Admit that it takes time to go away. Never be ashamed of expressing nice feelings. Never be overly cool to fake feelings, especially those that will hurt people. Let it be and it will finally fade away, no matter how intense it used to be.

Not too much to say about the love story at the end of the movie. I am not the escaper type, or I haven』t realized that I am.

Turning off the media player, I asked myself, dare I spend a year traveling after graduation, with no income? How much does it actually cost? What is the opportunity cost? At the end, it is not actually a matter of money. I think I can make it if I go budget travel. I am more worried about 「wasting」 a year. But what does a year mean? It means 1/70 of my life (please pray for my long life so this number goes smaller), or 1//30 of my career. Does it really matter that I get into VC/PE/consulting/whatever a year later than my peers do? Does it really matter that I get promoted a year later than my peers do? Does it really matter that I try something I think I will like? Does it really matter that I try something that might alter the entire life/career? The answers to the 4 questions are No. No. Yes. Yes.

So I pretty much conclude this blog entry with madness and excitement. Let’s hope I still hold them when I graduate.