用一個世界紀念我們逝去的青春

今天終於克服了拖延癌，乖乖坐進了電影院，去面對自己已然逝去的青春。現在終於坐在電腦前，邊放著The Fellowship of The Ring, 邊強迫自己把頭腦中的碎片拼湊起來。


十年有多長？


當年初看LOTR時，還是初二的樣子，中土世界是那時平淡無奇自己的烏托邦。這裡有驚心動魄的戰鬥，有非黑即白的正邪，有深情款款的阿拉貢，有身手矯健的小精靈，還有遠方。那時候每天都在幻想自己也可以踏上這樣一場旅程，去追求自己乃至世界未竟的理想。

當年看Hobbit I時，身邊陪著的人早已消失在茫茫人海了，電影中的情節也已經不記得了。因為不肯原諒一個人，從而遠離了中土世界，其實說到底，只是不肯原諒自己。當年看Hobbit II時，還在吐槽王子矮人和妹子的三角關係，還在糾結矮人小分隊果然沒有護戒使者小分隊隊員帥氣，還在期待巴德的英勇表現。

可今天，當巴德完成父親理想，當巨龍墜落長湖中，當女王公主抱了干豆腐，當王子謝過領主獨行北方，當英雄再一次並肩而戰，當正義再一起無堅不摧，當結尾曲響起，卻又想從頭再來一遍。

但曲終人散。

一切都敵不過時間。

十年了。

十年的時光同中土世界一起靜靜流逝。自己這個善變的水瓶座，居然也對一個故事唸唸不忘了這麼多年，想想也是震驚了。尤其是在讀過三年文學研究之後，卻越發愛上了，這個世界這個故事。彷彿見過了東經北緯，此男彼女，覺得已經不會再輕易動心了，卻還是放不下忘不了。

人的一生能有幾個十年，所以面對著這十年未改的喜愛，忽然產生了極強的敬畏之情。

於是不免問自己，到底愛上了這個世界的什麼？

或許是Sam在TTT結尾說的那段話:
Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam?
Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.


當年那個板寸小女孩終於已經蓄起了齊腰的長髮，可是他們還是沒有變化。干豆腐依然花白著頭髮，敲響了Bilbo的家門，桌上是中土世界的地圖，門外灑滿了陽光。於是，彷彿自己也從小小的溫暖的港島，穿梭回冰天雪地的家鄉，一切都沒有改變。一切的戰鬥，深情，勇氣，誓言，承諾，愛，都歷歷在目。

不知何時開始，特別懼怕改變，物是人非變成了最為殘忍的詞語。希望常去的餐館永遠不會關門，裡面的菜式永遠不會變化，每天都可以沿著同一條路去上學，每天都霸佔圖書館的同一個位置。生命如此無常，所以當PJ帶著他的王子白鬍子和中土世界回歸之時，只覺得何其有幸，能再度迷失在這想像的世界裡。


歲月更迭，遠方、熱血與深情卻從未走遠。

History became legend. Legend became myth.

But there's still some good in this world and it's worth fighting for.